What I learnt recently #19

Friday 09 November 2012

This past week I attended a 2-day technical seminar, in which I gave a short presentation. Let's rewind about two weeks. I was invited to give a presentation on a case study from my personal work experience in the application of a particular engineering study on a power system. Imagine me saying this while scrunching my nose to shift my glasses a little higher up my face.

My natural response was to decline, given that I don't consider myself an anywhere near expert on the topic by any stretch of the imagination and more importantly I would have to present this to a room full of engineers with much more knowledge and experience than myself. I then remembered a lesson I had learnt sometime ago, and one which I did a blog about: The balance between pushing yourself to do more and saying 'no'. 

I decided to accept the invitation and force myself to learn something. Even if I went down in flames, I would have risen from the ashes re-born like a Phoenix. For a couple weeks, this presentation was bearing heavily down upon me even though I only had about an hour a day to dedicate to its preparation. In giving preparing for, and giving the presentation, I have discovered the  following: 

1. One of the biggest factors in uncertainty that produces fear is the thought of being judged. 
2. Even though I have huge dissatisfaction with my job, I found myself enthusiastically energetic about the field of study I have pursued. This was somewhat unexpected, since I only interact with my field in ways presented to me through my job. But the study of engineering transcends the doldrums of repetitive work, and the seminar has reminded me how much I have yet to learn.
3. Most of the worst case scenarios we play over and over in our mind usually never come to fruition. The action of considering about the worst than can happen only becomes valuable when we realise that even if it does come to pass, the resulting impact on our lives is relatively small.
4. The seminar has re-calibrated how I consider my work and my job. What I got from it was far more significant than I may have contributed. 

What I learnt today #18

Friday 02 November

Today is All Souls' Day, where tradition calls for visits to the burial sites of loved ones to tidy up and light candles. 
I visited the cemetery today and was among scores of people who were lighting candles and cleaning up graves. Many graves were overgrown with vines and other flora and some showed signs of seldom being visited. I imagine that many present today were looking back on the times when the people that have passed were with them. 

The smell of candles burning was wafting in the air. Candle smoke invokes very fond memories from my childhood. The only time we lit candles was when there was an extended power outage, which brought on a sense of excitement for a young lad. Navigating the house with a flashlight and assembling candles was something I took very seriously when we were faced with these blackouts. But the part that I enjoyed the most was everybody gathered in one spot, usually the dining room table, and there was nothing to occupy us but each other. No TV, no radio or computer. We would gather and talk about things that we would not have had we not been forced to group. Sometimes, there was no need to talk, but there was a need to be together. 

I found it quite poetic that this nostalgia brought on by candle smoke was in a place that carries us back to another time. I found myself thinking that I should spend more time with those that are close to me. We make excuses about life, and show no hesitation in listing the many things get in the way. I'd like to spend more time with those I love. 

What distractions have you allowed to put distance between you and your loved ones?

Sometimes we need to actively impose a blackout on all the things that prevent us from coming together. Just like power outages, those blessings in disguise, brought my family a little closer from time to time. 

What I learnt this week #17

Thursday 01 November 2012

I always knew a blog a day was an ambitious target.
I kept it up for longer than I expected, and missing one day is a slippery slope.

It's like any habit. Keep it up and you have momentum. Once it falters, it's a tough task to get it started back as the lull lingers. Since I missed so many days, I thought it worthwhile to do a quick synopsis of my days since the last entry.

Last weekend (43rd weekend of 2012)

Fresh off the heels of the previous weekend's lesson of planning it beforehand, I had one all set. It was a completely filled weekend. I got up before 8:30am on each day. I know this doesn't seem early for most of you, but I really enjoy a late sleep on weekends. Having such a busy weekend, one where everything I had planned was accomplished, has taught me the following:

• I waste a fair amount of time on weekends. It could be doing something fairly simple. I'd get up and start to read news, both local and international. Then I'd read something that I want to read more on and I do a search. My search results in 49 tabs being opened in a two minute span. Let's not mention if one of the tab includes a youtube video. That has the potential of  extending the research period by hours. I would start off looking at a video of a news clip, and somehow end up watching a series of videos where people film their dogs barking in ways that make them sound as though they are talking. 
• Getting up early is a good idea on weekends. I'll try to rise even earlier this weekend and see how that goes.

Monday 29 October 2012

Monday mornings are particularly challenging for me. This is partly due to the fact that for a split second after I wake up on a Monday morning, I think it's Sunday. Words cannot describe the emotional roller coaster I go through in the one second after I wake up. 

I can try though: "Ahhhhh....... ohhh dammit to hell". Kind of like that, I guess. 

But in the dynamic balance of yin and yang, I always enjoy waking up on a Sunday thinking it's Monday. Imagine walking into the office and your boss says "Hey buddy, go home and relax. I got this." It's like that, while in bed. Glorious. And the opposite of that is what happened to me on Monday.  

On Monday I did not have a good day. Without going into detail, I seriously contemplated giving up everything and pursing my dream of becoming a professional bush dweller. I can't help but think the attitude that I adopt on Monday mornings directs my mood for the remainder of the day. 

Since Mondays are such a challenge, I will embrace the day from the time I wake. This is my task for Monday 05 November 2012.

Wednesday 31 October 2012

On Wednesdays I have a weekly project status meeting in south. I dislike these meetings very much. In these meetings I sit and try to figure out how my years of schooling and continuing education has led me to this table staring at last week's minutes. It's not that I don't appreciate the need for these meetings. I completely understand the need for various professionals involved in a multi-million dollar project to discuss the progress and resolve problems that arise. What I don't understand is why it needs to suck the very life force that sustains me out though my skin. I swear I come out of those meetings a little lighter. I realised that because I loathe these meetings so much, I avoid anything that has the slightest connection to them......until one hour before the meeting. This leaves me somewhat unprepared for the torturous few hours ahead. It's a negative feedback loop and I'm only adding to my misery. 

Since these meetings make me want to get up and just leave the room, I will dedicate a few hours a couple days before the meeting so at least I am fully prepared. Even though this will not make them any more enjoyable in any way, shape or form there's no need to add to it by being unprepared. This is my task for Tuesday 06 November 2012.

Thursday 01 November 2012

Today I had the task of catching up with my blogs, which I didn't do such a great job doing. Who noticed Tuesday is missing? Lesson learnt today: It's easier to keep up and maintain an already existing habit, than trying to re-start something after a hibernation period. 

Task for tomorrow: Continue blog. 

What I learnt today #16

Friday 16 October 2012

Today I had an itchy scalp. 

Consider the following: 

• As the time goes by from the time of my shampoo, the itchiness of my scalp increases. 
• My hair is extremely poofy/frizzy immediately following my shampoo. So as the time goes by from the time of my shampoo, my hair gets less poofy and takes on a more human like demeanour.  

See below graph for clarity. 

Graph illustrating hair/scalp properties with time as measured from Shampoo

Considering my particular genealogy, my family has been blessed (cursed depending on how you look at it) with hair of a voluminous nature. I refer to it as poofiness since I'm not in the hair care arena. 

There lies a sweet spot where my hair and scalp are sufficiently clean so as not to have any particular odour or petrochemical properties, while existing in an orderly manner. This is usually two days or so after a shampoo (give or take 12 hours)

Today happens to be about 4 days since my last shampoo, putting me to well to the right of the ideal spot where the blue and red line intersect. I was descending toward the slick hair appearance, and simultaneously ascending to the greasy texture. It was as though after my shower I dried my hair with the base of a brown paper bag that once contained a dozen doubles. 

I find myself playing a delicate balancing act whereby the sweet spot has a fluctuating duration depending on factors ranging from atmospheric conditions to the nature my activity on the day. Sometimes this intersection point last two days, sometimes it is gone in a flash. I've become fairly good at gauging this, so why was I looking like an italian mobster today?

Today being Friday, my propensity is to participate in after work social activity. Even though neither hair condition is desired, if I had to choose I would prefer to have a somewhat orderly look to my filamentous biomaterial, even if slightly naturally lubricated, than have it appear as though a species of bird collected strands of black wire and constructed a nest in which to roost on top of my head. 

Even though I don't consider myself a vain person by any stretch of the imagination, I discovered that I did allow what I consider to be visually favourable to over ride my comfort.

In what ways do you sacrifice comfort for appearance?

I somehow think that given that I have realised that I placed vanity over comfort, something that I would not naturally place in that order, I will be shampooing more often. 

Expect to see me with much more poofy hair in the weeks to come. 

What I learnt today #15

Thursday 25 October 2012

This morning on my way to work, I took my regular route. 
I know best practice dictates you're supposed to vary your routes to avoid someone recognizing a pattern, but I think I blend in quite well with the other 50,000 cars going in the same general direction every morning. 

My route takes me along the Audrey Jeffers Highway, which has a portion referred to as the foreshore which puts you about 10 meters away from the coastline of the Gulf of Paria. 
This morning I saw a man wake-boarding in the Gulf. Now, for those of you that don't know this stretch of coastline, no one ever ventures into these waters mainly due to its toxicity levels. I always half expect to see a three-legged fish come up from the water and drag itself across the road. Other than the fact that this guy is probably going to become the latest addition to the x-men after his dip in that water, I was absolutely amazed what this guy had planned for his Thursday. I sometimes forget that not everyone lives in the rat maze. After all, practically everyone I know is in it.

Yes, in some ways I did envy this character. Now I know what you're thinking, "Ian you don't know how hard this guy probably worked so he could afford such leisure". You're right, I don't. But it's a sick construct that we have come to believe in that decades of toil are required, demanded even, from the world for us to deserve something great. I'm not talking about the fast track, or get rich dreams or anything of that nature. I'm talking about living the way we want, in the present. Ask yourself the "5 whys" to peel back the layers of why you're not living the life you may want. Look past the "I don't have enough money" excuse 90% of people would list as one of their first limitations. I would argue that the majority of things that we would list as constraints and limitations are self imposed. Yes you need to have a certain risk appetite to be daring enough to break the mold and not walk the prescribed path. But there is much more at risk if you live in a way that does not fulfill you. 

When you really get to the bottom of it, there is a reason we don't run after what we say we want. It's fear. And it's that fear that keeps people, myself included, from wake boarding on a Thursday morning. That and I'd prefer not to have my skin melted off and flesh eating bacteria reducing me to bones. Seriously that water is gross. 

What I learnt this morning #14

Thursday 25 October

Lesson learnt yesterday:

• Opening a blog at 11:24pm, and then saying "I'm just going to rest my eyes for a few minutes" results in a that said blog not manifesting itself. 

• When the body needs sleep, give it. It is the one gift we can present to ourselves that brings supremely  glorious satisfaction that is easy to do and costs nothing. 

• Falling asleep in a place other than your bed, in a position that isn't meant for the human body other than those with 5th degree black belts in yoga, is still a decent sleep. 

• Take pleasure in your sleep in the same way you savour a good meal. It really is one of those small things in life that can bring joy when done right, and causes absolute devastation when absent or lacking quality. 

So, after waking up this morning having drooled 1.32 liters of saliva all over myself, I realise that my days have suddenly gotten very filled. And surprisingly, I'm not really bothered by it. Granted, I have no children. I've always had massive respect for those that get lots done and have little replicas of themselves hopped up on sugar running between their legs. So to all of you that reproduced and still manage to, day-by-day, reach closer to the goals you have set for yourself and family - Gold star for you. 

I will think of you when I feel as though I don't have the energy.

What I learnt today #13

Tuesday 23 October 2012

Today I found myself on the brink of a fairly large change that may occur in my life. My state of mind was pensive, mixed with a bit of anxiety and anticipation. Having little time for a blog today, I will briefly list what I learnt from peering through a slightly ajar door, moments before it is swung wide open:

• Change, in any form that brings major lifestlye shifts, is scary. However positive and welcome this change may be, just simply deviating from what we have become accustomed to is frightening. Even if what we have become accustomed to is not what we want. There is something comforting about predictability, but it is something in which I don’t want to seek solace.

• I can only imagine how a change which brings on major challenges can shake someone to their core, if simple and seemingly beneficial change can make me feel so uneasy. Be patient with those going through a period of change, it is not always an easy process. 

• I don’t want to fear the dark simply because I’m not sure what’s there. I want to feel filled with a sense of adventure and anticipation to discover what I have not been able to see before.

I’d like you to consider embarking on that change that you've been fearful of, and understand that the environment in which you find comfort in its predictability was once a dark cave. You stood at the mouth of that cave once before and stepped forward. Do it again. 

What I learnt today #12

Monday 22 October 2012

I entered the office today just as I did any other day designated by the GORTT as a working day. Only today was a bit different. Upon approaching the front reception area, I was greeted by an employee attendance log book. It was neatly bound, with a shiny plastic front cover. Not having had to sign into one of these since I was an hourly paid worker at my first part time position while at University, there was a wave of nostalgia that wafted past me like a warm breeze. Except this warm breeze was like a fart, and stank to high heaven. What in Zeus' name is this? In the dead of the night, an elf was hard at work putting together this masterpiece. 

There were various columns for employees to enter the following details:

1. Time of arrival. This one seems fairly straightforward. This is meant to, via manual input by the arrival employee, record crossing the threshold which delineates "the office" from "not the office". 8:31AM. I like to be specific with data I input into tables, especially numbers. I believe units add specificity to numbers. That's the engineer in me. The number 42, as the super computer's answer to the Universe's Ultimate question in "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" may have profound meaning had it been given a unit of measure. 
2. Employee Name. Also fairly easy. Other than aliases not commonly used in the office, your legal name identifies the specific human resource unit that entered the sacred halls of work. Even though we are all on first name basis, I decided to write my entire name. In capital letters. I would hate to have been the reason for any confusion. 
3. Lunch Time Out. This is where things get tricky. If I eat lunch at the office, do I sign out? Is lunch time out a pause between mastication and other processes involved in general food consumption? If the mircowave turntable was somehow stationary rendering a half hot/half cold meal, should the time between warm cycles be counted? For fear of not being taken seriously I decided to go with my instinct on this one. Thankfully, I had pasta salad today that could have been eaten cold. 12:15PM.
4. Lunch Time In. The ambiguity climbs higher. I usually like to have a cup of tea at my desk after a meal. Technically, it is not part of my meal but it is something that I consider important to the digestive process. Should my tea time be included in my lunch hour? I played it safe and put the kettle on as I was between spoon-to-mouth actions. I decided to be bold, and test the waters on this maiden employee log journey. As I exited the lunch room with a steamy cup of tea, I logged out. 12:34PM. My logic was since I was not on a doctor prescribed liquid-only diet, the tea does not constitute actual sustenance and shall not be considered to be within the realms of my legally required lunch hour. 
5. Casual/Meeting Time Out. My internal CPU was beginning to run hot. My meeting times are also to be logged. If I hosted a tele-conference, which I have been known to do from time to time, does that constitute a meeting? What about internal meetings? Does including more than one recipient in my email constitute a meeting if I get a response from more than one person in a 5 minute period? What about client calls to and from my cell phone? As these world shifting questions swirled in my mind, I opted for the safe choice: Do nothing. As I did not have a scheduled meeting in or out of the office today and did not have to conduct business of a personal nature during stipulated working hours, this cell in the sheet remained vacant. 
6. Casual/Meeting Time In. Again vacant. Since I did not log out, logic dictates that I cannot log in. For today, unlike other days, the notion of Parallel Universes and Time Travel was not a consideration. 
7. End Time. Dangerous words for being so close to December 21, 2012. Because I have a belief that the Mayans meant an end of an era and not the end of the world, I did not interpret this as a cell to input my doomsday wish for humanity. I was at the office particularly late today, but logged out before I actually left and entered the "not office" realm. 5:33PM. 

Not bad for my first day. I began to formulate a multi-page query list to clarify some ambiguities in the log itself, but decided against it. My encounter with an employee attendance log has taught me the following today:

• Some ideas die slowly.
• Proactive engagement of a problem is almost always a better way of dealing with issues than historical data gathering to build a case when things get out of hand. One way solves a problem, and the other gives you a lot of paperwork to perpetuate it. 

Tomorrow I am expecting a turnstile entry system and a velvet rope maze to the employee customs area where we are meant to declare whether or not we are bringing any 21st century ideas into the office area. 

What I learnt this weekend #11

On this 42nd weekend, we can mark that over 80% of the weekends contained in 2012 have elapsed. If this year was a marathon, we would be just at the 21 mile mark of our 26 mile run.

You can say that we're on the 'home stretch' of this year. 

Upon reflection, I find that I spend quite a bit of my week looking forward to the weekend. When I think about it some more, I find that many of my weekends are squandered, i.e. much of this free time passes without me feeling like an active participant in life. This leaves me with a sense of regret in facing the new work week. I feel as though I didn't make good use of the two days I have off from the doldrums and sometimes downright ridiculous action of doing something I don't absolutely enjoy in exchange for money. 

An analogy to bring perspective:  A child throws a tantrum, that the most pampered celebrities will be envious of, to have that toy that they glanced at in a store. When the guardian reaches their wits end, picks up the toy, lines up and exchanges hard earned cash (which they received in exchange for mostly unpleasant work) for the toy, the child looks at the toy and tosses it to one side. The parent, after inquiring about the store's return policy, will wonder what insanity drives toddlers sometimes. 

Not spending every minute of the weekend, the time we spend fantasizing about all week, doing exactly what we want - is filled with the same insanity. Not using the weekends to make you feel like an active life-participant will only drain us more for the ensuing work week cycle. 

This weekend, unlike other countless weekends, I spent in a completely revitalizing manner. Without going into detail, which is not important for the point I'd like to bring across, I felt it was a worthwhile use of the two hard earned days we are granted between work cycles. 

My weekend with friends, nature and my country has made me think about the following:

• We are on earth for a short and finite period. We sometimes wait for particular circumstances to begin the life we dream of - retirement with a comfortable nest egg or that big break in our career. We, at any time of our lives, have the power to decide to live in the present. That is, not simply to exist or 'make do' with what we have now in the hope and anticipation for the future we dream about. We don't have as long as we think.

• Instead of wishing for the weekend, I will start planning for the weekend. It sounds simple and I thought it was obvious. But I can recall piles of weekends coming to an end where I thought "What have I done all weekend?"

Due to my failure to select the winning lotto numbers, I will be reporting to work bright and early in the morning. However, in this particular case, I will do so having come off a fantastic weekend. 

What I learnt today #10

Friday 19 October 2012

Scenario: Getting ready for my day of work. I plug in my iron to take out massive crinkles that line my shirt like creases on an elephant's ear. This may be due to the fact my work shirts reside under 12 pounds of other clothes. Given my poor ironing skills, the shirt goes from the texture of crumpled newspaper to, say, a napkin. "That'll do" I mumble to myself, since I am already a half-hour late and here I am ironing my shirt while still in my drawers. 

By the time I'm downstairs, my phone rings and the office is asking me the question that I get almost 3 out of 5 mornings....."Morning Ian, (boss' name) wants to know what time you're coming into the office". I give my standard answer of 15 minutes. I could be fixing the camera on the Curiousity rover on Mars and I'll still report an ETA of 15 minutes. 

So by the time I am in the car, the urge to put some pep in my step is climbing. I reach the end of my street, which leads to a T-junction onto a major road. I stick my nose out to signal to oncoming traffic of my intent to join this major artery from a smaller blood vessel. One car goes by, then two then three..four...five. No bligh from anyone. A small line of traffic builds up in front of me as if all the long sticks in a game of tetris landed end-to-end. I look at the person driving the car that failed to let me in, since they are directly in front of me, sitting there waiting for the traffic to flow once more. They avoid eye contact in the same way a dog that just destroyed the couch cushion sits in the corner when you get home. That look of guilt transcends animal species. Yeah driver, you did smut. But I almost understand why you did that. You too are in a rush. Your actions, however inconsiderate and pointless have a motive. Congratulations for having saved yourself 0.37 seconds from your commute. But maybe that driver got 4 calls from his office as opposed to my meager solitary call. 

My brief encounter with Mr. "I gonna jam myself in the middle of the junction and play I not seeing you" this morning has taught me the following:

• People are motivated by the same things you are in most cases. They are under the same pressures, same stresses and have the same headaches. Sometimes it is worthwhile to assume that someone is under more stress than you, and irrational actions may have to be pardoned. That "may" has a long list of pre-conditions however. 

• The unnecessary pressures that people are put under cause the population to be less than nice to each other sometimes. So many arguments and road-rage incidents would have probably been avoided if people didn't feel herded like sheep down the asphalt trails to the slaughterhouse. 

This morning I let almost everyone who requested to slip in front of me in traffic a welcome pass. I waved people on and flashed my lights like it was going out of style. I didn't arrive to my destination any later than I would have had I been a squeeze out specialist. I'd like to think that somehow I made someone's day a little easier. 

So next time you see a soldier with a crumpled up shirt on his way to work at 8:30am, consider giving him a squeeze in front you. 

What I learnt today #9

Thursday 18 October 2012

Let me begin by saying this: I did not win the lottery.

Life has a funny way of correcting your behaviours. After becoming drunk with thoughts of wealth yesterday, I rose to the realisation that I am just another poor sod who has to toil for a meagre salary. And toil I did. Thanks life, you brought me back to earth.

Two site meetings, in North and South Trinidad respectively, broken up by a couple hours in between at the office pretty much had me beat by the time I got home. I’d say that I did pretty OK considering I woke up not wanting to even leave my bed.  

Shortly after my arrival at home, and my ritual of stripping down to my undies to relax, my phone chimed. It was a friend asking if I wanted to do anything later. Now, usually when I’m home and down to such a small amount of clothes, it would take fairly extreme circumstances for me to leave the house. And as far as I could tell, my house was not in an advanced stage of combustion at that exact moment. But on this occasion I decided to go against my usual action and spend some time with a friend since we haven’t seen each other for quite a while.

We caught up with each other’s life’s events and spoke about our future plans.

He relayed a story of a man who had abandoned his wife and family in pursuit of another woman. He eventually squandered his fortune, leaving nothing for the family he left behind. He had died some years after, and to this day his family are not sure under what circumstances he passed away, or where he is buried.

I thought to myself: “His friends have let him down”. I know that there are many things I don’t know about the story, but it made me think. If my friends saw me going down a path of self destruction, would they be strong enough to stop me? I understand fully that you can talk to someone ad infinitum and they will do as they choose, but when words do not work, how far would you go to save someone? If having learnt of a real friend’s demise, not only in terms of life or death, but moral and emotional destruction, would you feel satisfied knowing the furthest you went is forcefully speaking to them?

I would like to think that my friends would do what it takes to set me straight if I demonstrate that I am no longer of sound mind and have fallen under the influence of personified devastation.

How much can we actually do to change the minds of others?

Have you ever been witness to someone destroying themselves?

At what point must you let go without yourself being pulled down into the abyss?

My day today and time with friends tonight has taught me the following:

• When waking up, the faster I focus on getting off to a productive day the better. No use in wishing for more sleep, or contemplating going to the beach if you’re just going to go to work anyway. Either wake up, set your mindset for work and get on with it or go to the beach. No use in playing that wicked mind game.

• Even though I am not yet a wealthy man, I have a solid foundation upon which I can enjoy my future wealth, i.e. trustworthy network of friends and family.

With no winner yesterday, the lotto rolled over to $14M. Yes I bought multiple tickets today. 

What I learnt today #8

Wednesday 17 October 2012

Today is sometimes referred to as 'hump day', used in the context of reaching the apex of the proverbial hill - a work week. The anticipatory descent into the weekend is cause for much excitement the world over. 

Where one side of the hill takes a vast amount of energy to climb, once over the hump, we glide down the other side with relative ease. We almost can feel our body begin to exhale and almost feel the energy expended return. 

Today is also the day that our lottery plus jackpot either goes to a very fortunate person, who is in all likeliness going to pee on his boss' desk in the morning, or back in the pot to fatten for the next week of hopeful millionaires. 

I’m not a gambling man, but after having lunch with a friend yesterday we walked right past a lotto booth and he wanted to buy a lotto ticket. He didn't have any cash so I bought two, one for him and one for me. I folded the ticket and placed it in my wallet just as I would a grocery bill or torn movie stub and told him I’d initiate legal action if he won and didn't give me half.

Upon my return to the office I had learnt that the jackpot for Wednesday night’s draw stood at a cool $11M. I instantly began to run interest rate calculations to see how much of a bum I could be by sitting on that money. Then my mind turned to the investment opportunities that can allow that money to grow. I found myself in a dream pipeline that led me to places I had never thought possible as a salaried employee. And in reality, that pipeline dumped me out right at my desk. There I was after all that planning of what I would do with $11M, sitting in from the work I had floated away from just minutes before.

My short lived (in my mind) life as a multi-millionaire today taught me the following:

·        I will NOT be returning to work if I won the lottery, however small that jackpot may be. I would take it as a sign from the universe that things are about to change. It would be my omen (reference from ‘The Alchemist’)

·        Thinking of the lottery as a way out of the rat race is a supremely glorious waste of time and incredibly self defeating. Sure it would be a great blessing, but there may be a dangerous side to its seductive powers of perceived potential. It reinforces the notion that the only way you can live that dream life you have planned is by some miracle which results in showering you with riches. That is only possible by some act of fate, and not through our own doing, can our wildest dreams be realised is a harmful mindset.

Have you ever found yourself waiting for the universe’s powers to grant you an opportunity to start your dream life?

The lottery draws tonight, and if you see a blog entry on Thursday, then I did not win. 

What I learnt today #7

Tuesday 16 October 2012

Today I met up with a friend for lunch on my way back to the office.

I had an exceptionally early day today, having had to arrive on a site in Rio Claro at 8:00am. So by the time lunchtime had arrived, I had technically fulfilled 75% of my contractual obligation to my employer with regard to working hours. Having finished lunch we discussed our mutual feeling of not being completely overjoyed with the prospect of returning to work. Somewhere in the conversation I suggested we ditch work and go to the beach. I asked the question: “When you look back on your younger days, are you going to remember that time you went back to work?” I admit, I have an overly cynical view of the world of employment as it exists in contemporary T&T, where work design is seldom a consideration. Work design aims at creating systems through which jobs are more meaningful to the individual, responsibility for the work is accepted and intrinsic satisfaction is achieved. I get the feeling both employees and employers view ‘a wuk’ as two sides of the same coin. 

Am I considering going to the beach because I am a deviant and irresponsible employee? 

Am I absolving myself of responsibility of doing my part in self-motivation to do my job?

I am absolutely sure many friends all over the world were having the exact same conversation.  

Now, I went a step further and put myself in the shoes of an employer, who has hired people that are satisfactorily qualified to do the job with which they have been tasked. How would I feel if they decide to bugger off in the middle of the day? Wages being a significant part of my overhead, I would not be happy. But I still have fleeting sympathy for many employers having problems with labour.

Here’s why:

If I was a company’s leader, my most important function is to ensure my single biggest investment, and the only one which will allow my company to grow, is used properly and fits my company’s culture and vision. A failing work force signals to me that I have not been doing my job well. It may be that the wrong people are being hired, the work design is lacking or non-existent, or my company’s strategy has been poorly thought out or has not been thought of in the first place. It may be that all the majority of my employees are lazy and just don’t want to work. 

Which do you think, as an unbiased observer of the natural order of things, is more likely?

I am convinced that a company can be so designed to provide meaningful and satisfying work, regardless of the tasks to be executed. I am convinced that people follow strong leaders, and dedicate their time diligently to a firm whose vision and culture is congruent with their own.

These considerations will be in the forefront of my mind when designing my own company as well as understanding I am ultimately responsible for my employees that I depend on to grow my company. 

And I did not go to the beach today.

What I learnt this weekend #6

On this 41^st weekend of the year, I’ve been in a very introspective mood.

Perhaps my past week’s ritual of thinking of what I’ve learnt that day puts me in that frame of mind. It is worthwhile to ask yourself the question “What have I learnt today?” If you ask a 5 year old what they learnt for the day, you better be in a comfortable position. But if you ask an adult, you may have to prod and probe a little more to solicit an answer. It is something I ask myself now at least once a day, which is one time more than I used to before the blog.

So even though my blog doesn’t really have a following, maybe that’s not the point.

This weekend I was invited to a gathering to bid a friend farewell. She is about to leave our shores in a bid to find gainful employment in the land of our ancestral rulers. On the one hand I am happy to see her pursue her dreams and will always and without exception support someone who goes after what they truly want in life. On the other hand, I am saddened that T&T will stand to lose another bright young mind. Either way, at least one of the countries stands to benefit greatly from the young lady’s contributions.

The invitation was an open one, and being a friend, I accepted the invitation. Upon my arrival I quickly realised that this was a gathering of the female variety. Of the nine people present, I was the only one with a Y chromosome. Since this was not a rap video, or a wet t-shirt competition, the appeal of being surrounded by females must then, take another form. Now, I am supremely comfortable around groups of women having grown up with three sisters. Having 31 years experience with this has taught me how to properly zone out. On my best days I consider myself an OK conversationalist, but even on these days I cannot contribute to a discussion about the coating one puts on fingernails, or what chemical makes hair less frizzy. I’m not suggesting that males have conversations that delve into the origins of the cosmos, just that I can relate to the topics. I felt like I was watching a documentary of the hidden lives of women and the reporter had a concealed camera during a secret town hall woman meeting. I felt as though I was part of a social experiment, and as such, I was keen to observe.

My encounter with this flock of majestic birds over the weekend has taught me the following:

• I’ve always found women somewhat intimidating individually, but I am able to engage one on one. In a pack however, they have the potential to be all consuming. Reminds me of a line from “The Walking Dead” series on AMC.
• Women speak about work a lot more than men do. This is obviously a generalisation, but a notable personal observation nonetheless. Men seldom speak about work in a male dominated gathering. Men seldom speak about work at work.
• It is much easier for a woman to join a man’s conversation, however crass it might be, than a man to join even the most refined conversation that women may have. I have no idea of how to contribute to a discussion about what type of lip balm is preferred. I’ve always found that spit has quite moisturising properties actually.
• Women, as with all of nature’s splendid creatures, are an absolute marvel to observe in their natural habitat. Natural habitat can be defined as an arena in which ladies are not directly or indirectly involved in the search for a mate.
• Women are not meek and gentle creatures, especially in groups.

It is sometimes worthwhile to pause being an active participant and be a passive observer. We can learn a thing or two.

Have you ever observed something new about the opposite sex in your passive observations or active engagement?

What myths have you busted, confirmed or found plausible?

Guys, next time you inadvertently stumble upon a group of women in natural mode, instead of trying to tackle the weakest of the bunch, pause and try to learn something. Unless they are hot. In that case then go for it son.

What I learnt today #5

Friday 12 October 2012

I usually share an office with two other people.

It just so happened that they were both out of office all day today, so I was the monarch of the office for 8 hours. I had some peace and quiet, and I could enjoy my digital media to my heart’s content. Where I would normally have to be sensible with my volume levels, I was free to turn the office into a concert hall if I so desired. I didn’t of course, mostly due to the fact that my speakers are tiny, 9 years old and have the acoustic fidelity of a Styrofoam cup.

I was able to complete an audiobook I’d been listening to: “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert T, Kiyosaki. The book itself has many critics, and some of what was said I ignored mentally. But there were some points made that made me think. One of the true values of reading books is provoking thought. I’m using the term reading rather loosely here seeing as though the book was narrated. If a book makes bad points, or makes claims you don’t agree with, it forces you to examine and question the beliefs you held.

It seemed almost a poetic irony that I was listening to it my place of employment, since employment is exactly the opposite route one must take to become wealthy. The illusion of security and the delicate balance your employer plays in paying you just enough so you don’t leave, but enough so you keep on working are some of the positions the author adopts. There was an acronym he used as well: J.O.B or just over broke. The poor and middle class, as the author elaborates, has a much different philosophy to the rich.

In my solitude at the office today whereby I was able to complete my audiobook, and in writing today’s entry, I learnt the following:

·        It is becoming increasingly difficult to blog every day, hence the Friday blog on a Saturday. I am considering doing only a single entry on the weekend, aptly titled “What I learnt this weekend”.

·        Audiobooks are quite a viable way to extract information from books. Purists worldwide are cringing at the idea, but then again, they will become a dying breed as the world moves forward.

·        My financial behaviour is that of the middle class.

o    I have followed the prescribed path of education for the purpose of employment and employment for the purpose of career.

o   I depend on my employer to pay me a fair wage, and tend to blame my circumstances on any unfairness that I may encounter there.

o   I depend on my employer, in much the same way a teenager may depend on their parents.

o   I have a propensity for acquiring liabilities as defined in the book.

·        I am at somewhat at cross-roads as it were, where I can feel myself becoming more and more averse to risk while simultaneously desire for me to take control of my own career path via entrepreneurial aspirations burns brightly.

In some ways I have always understood the ludicrousness of putting you career and financial input in the hands of another when their objectives and yours are almost never congruent. Though my financial processes are independent of my employer, and I am free to do with my earnings as I please, I do display the tendencies of someone who wished to break the cycle of the ‘rat-race’. I intend to change this, because there is something inside me that knows this is not for me.

Have you ever felt as though your attempts for change have been directed at others, and not yourself?

What makes you afraid of change? What are your fears?

I don’t have the answers to many of my own question, but I am determined to look inward and come up with some answers.

What I learnt today #4

Thursday 11 October 2012

Today I attended a panel discussion titled “Tackling the Issues: Linking Economic Growth to Social Development”

I was aware of the event, and had a fleeting desire to attend. The gruesome traffic is always a deterrent, regardless of the reason for transit. I can think of no better way to simultaneously kill the planet while achieving absolutely nothing than sitting in traffic.  I know what you’re thinking “Oh, poor car owner sitting in air-conditioned comfort operating a vehicle with an automatic transmission. Hold on while I find my violin....”

Traffic is one of those universally disliked things, like cleaning the shower drain or violent bouts of vomiting. My desire to listen to such a relevant topic given the current state of our socio-economic landscape slightly outweighed the absolutely inane act of moving my right foot laterally between the brake and gas pedal for an hour and a half straight. Plus, whoever makes the vegetable samosas for post panel refreshments should be given the Chaconia Gold medal for three sided pastry mastery. Then I had a friend who asked if I was going, and even though there was no obligation whatsoever, I somehow felt as though this simple question was a request. It was almost a yes or no to them personally and not for the symposium or the samosas.

My ultimate answer was yes. I will come to the symposium.

So there I sit in traffic. My usual strategy for making this trip bearable is to choose a lane from which I will not have to deviate to make my exit or final turn. I prefer not to have to move my hands or arms in traffic. Changing lanes in traffic to get to a destination faster reminds me of the opening scene of the movie “Office Space”. While in my selected lane, I spot a friend in traffic in an adjacent lane although he was driving someone else’s vehicle. Windows descend to exchange greetings. The cool and controlled climate is quickly replaced a rush of hot air infused with noxious fumes and a hint of rotting garbage from the adjacent landfill. I would not have done this if he was not a good friend. The only thing that makes me more uncomfortable about mindless small talk, is having to do so while trying to synchronise speeds with another car travelling at 3.2 km/hr and not hitting the car in front of you and looking like a complete jackass. Yet, this is exactly what I did. In the 19 seconds we spent talking, we made very efficient use of our words as we are both very practical men. I agreed to help him to go to Chaguanas after the symposium to pick up his vehicle that was being serviced. Knowing the agenda for the panel discussion later, I knew that I would have to skip the refreshments after. So despite missing out on arguably the real value of these things: speaking to people about the panel discussion/networking while stuffing your face as quickly as possible with free hors d’oeuvres as though you were going after a new Guinness record......

My ultimate answer was yes. I will help you pick up your car later.

Then my phone rings, and I was forced to break two rules. One was moving my arms in traffic. The other was speaking on my phone while operating a vehicle. One is a personal rule, the other one is law enacted by parliament, punishable by a $1500 fine or three months imprisonment. It’s my mother so I answer the phone. She wants me to visit so I can transfer contacts from her old phone, which is quite possibly the first Nokia ever produced, to her new phone. So now not only do I have to forgo intellectually stimulating conversation and to-die-for vegetable samosas, fish balls and mini cheese cakes, but I stop off to transfer a billion contacts from a phone whose exact date or manufacture can only be verified via carbon dating then go to Chaguanas with a friend to pickup his vehicle from a mechanic.

My ultimate answer was yes. I will transfer contacts from a phone that was likely chiselled from sedimentary rock for you Mom.

My continuous answers of yes, as well as the lively panel discussion, have taught me the following:

• His Excellency, Timothy Hamel-Smith is an extremely intelligent, eloquent and short man. I can say I share at least one thing in common with this great man. I too am short.

• Trinidad and Tobago has no shortage of bright, motivated people with many great ideas to elevate the country to a higher level. How we transfer this to the National Character of our population and our leadership is a conundrum however.

• I have a profound difficulty in saying no to people. There are many times I have overcommitted myself, and due to the unbending laws of time and space, (at speeds below that of light of course) I am forced to explain my failure to make good on my pledge. In some circles, I have been given the dubious title of ‘set-up man’ for this very reason. I realise that I need to learn to graciously and politely say “Sorry, but I can’t”. This is because I have come to the realisation that it is better to under commit and over deliver than say ‘Yeah, sure!’ to everything and scramble to make excuses for something that should not have been promised in the first place.

• I feel that somehow, it’s better to take on more than you can chew and try your very best to chew it anyway. This sometimes stretches you to become better, and other times, erodes your credibility due to unfulfilled promises. It is a fine line to tread, and one that I walk in a meandering manner.

Do you share my propensity for saying ‘yes’ almost as a reflex?

Have you frequently overcommitted yourself?

What do you think is the right balance of pushing yourself and over committing?

In the end, I was able to make good on two of the three commitments I made. This 66.7% completion rate pushed me to complete a blog in the wee hours of the morning, despite my early commitments at the office tomorrow. 

What I learnt today #3

Wednesday 10 October 2012

Today I had a consultation with an oral surgeon as recommended by my dentist.

Apparently, I have impacted wisdom teeth on both sides of my mouth on the bottom row of my teeth.

My appointment was scheduled for 1:30pm, but only saw the doctor closer to 3:00pm. His consultation with me lasted approximately 8 minutes, as timed by my trusty Seiko chronograph.

He first looked at the x-rays taken from my dentist a few weeks earlier, and concluded that all four of my wisdom teeth should be extracted.

Upon inspection of my oral cavity (wearing no latex gloves), the doctor exclaimed “Ah, Good!”.

“Phew”, I thought. Before I could even inhale to breathe a sigh of relief, he followed up with “Good for me, not for you”.......

In my reclined position, I was not properly poised to deliver a roundhouse kick to his little doctor face. My initial thought of delivering grievous bodily harm to this man stemmed from the fact that I felt as though I was viewed as a means by which money can be extracted, pun intended. Forget the massive amount of pain I will have to endure in the days following the procedure, a doctor’s Audi needs premium gasoline! I’m not quite sure his glee would have been as pronounced had the fuel subsidies remained.

The doctor’s words, which unbeknownst to him could have resulted in him being back-hand slapped, taught me the following

• I am not a violent person

• It is extremely easy to view a situation only looking at how the outcome affects you, and sometimes, this can negatively affect those around you without even being aware of it.

•  Even when you perceive something negatively, it is important to understand that there may be other ways in which it could have been received.

When was the last time someone said something that rubbed you the wrong way? Could you have taken it any differently?

Can you identify a time when you may have been selfish with your thoughts, and by extension, your words? Have you identified any ways in which you can be more inclusive?

The answers to some of these allowed an oral surgeon to remain unharmed on this 10-10 October day.

What I learnt today #2

Tuesday 09 October 2012

In my determined mindset of posting to my blog daily, I will continue to share something I’ve learnt for the day, however small.

I decided to wear a long sleeved shirt to work today, in preparation for a 2-hour class I have on Tuesdays after work for the next 5 weeks. I did this because the class is usually cold. Not uncomfortably so, but I decided to err on the side of caution and play it 'safe'. I know right? Because our hospitals cannot cope with the influx of frostbite cases due to A/C units set on '17'. Yes I know, all you people who have boarded a flight and gone somewhere in February, Trinidad and Tobago is never 'cold'. 

I have no idea why I considered this air-conditioned room any colder than the one in which I spend practically 8 hours a day sometimes. One in which I am perfectly comfortable wearing a thin, short sleeved cotton shirt. But I had to wear a long sleeved shirt today. Have you ever tried to iron a long sleeved shirt? It’s impossible.

Wearing a past-the-elbow sleeved shirt today has uncovered the following:

•  Trinidad is not the place for clothes that inhibit, in any way, natural ventilation of the skin to allow perspiration to evaporate. The evolution of the human body in devising such a simple and elegant way to regulate body temperature should be respected. I cannot imagine why people wear apparel designed for temperate climates in our twin island state, only 10 degrees off the equator.

•  I somehow placed more emphasis on a two hour period, in the cooler evening, than the 8-hours of regular scheduled programming at the office which have the potential of consisting entirely of sweltering site-visits.

Sometimes the doldrums of daily life tend to relegate reoccurring events to the ranks of background noise, which we naturally ignore to a point. Any event which breaks this routine has an elevated importance or significance, even if its duration is very short in relation to our forecasted day. This is done to our detriment at times.

We must pay attention to, and be mindful of, the importance we place on events relative to others. In question the reasoning we place a higher importance on particular events; we may learn something about our own perceptions. What have some of your perceptions taught you?

In my case, my perceptions resulted in sweaty arms. Particularly in the area I will refer to as the 'arm crack', i.e. that crease between the forearm and bicep. Yes, I had a sweaty arm crack today due to my warped perceptions. 

What I learnt today #1

Monday 08 October 2012

Regular Monday morning.

My phone alarm goes off at 6:00am. By reflex I pick it up, and precisely slide my thumb across the arrow thingies to silence it. My eyes are still closed. Just like marine stripping down and re-assembling an AK-47 blindfolded, this takes years of practice.

Oh sweet snooze. How you caress me.......

A few minutes^* later I am up and at it, ready to take on the world!

*few meaning approximately 40

A few activities in the hygienic realm, followed by completing the ‘pants + shirt = dressed’ equation and I’m downstairs.

Bounce starter and we’re off.

Half way through my commute to the office, I realise a part of me is missing, i.e. I’ve left my phone at home. “I’ve come too far to turn around” I thought.

I got to the office, to realise that we have no internet access due to problems with our ISP.

Holy crap, the perfect storm. I am completely alone on a digital deserted island.  

Being on this isolated atoll taught me the following:

• Having access to almost unlimited technical information is only a distraction. It is a potential, not an actual necessity. Just like the monster 4x4 people drive on perfectly paved roads on their way to the grocery. Yes you have the potential to cross mud bogs and boulders, but thankfully Junior Sammy took care of all that for you. So, instead of driving to the middle of Biche to drop off food for orphans, you go Superpharm in your 5000lb TCX Ford Ranger. Similarly, instead of uncovering the operational intricacies of a wye-wye connected step-down transformer in your design, you feel compelled to watch a youtube review of Nexus 7 tablet that you’re not going to buy anyway.  

• My phone is a distraction. I do not own a RIM device, but I do have a phone capable of feeding me information from the WWW as well as instant messages. I used to pride myself in not being one of ‘those people’ who constantly checks their phone. The only way my phone makes a sound is for a phone call or an alarm. I thought it shifted the balance of power from my phone to me: No Phone, I will check YOU when I’m ready. Don’t chime at me you piece of plastic!! However, like the seductive baddis (smoking-hot but bad-for-you female for my non-T&T readers) that you crossed paths with years ago, it beckons to you in the same language your bed uses when you’re trying to study or do work. I constantly found l myself patting my pockets for my mobile. I am not in charge of my phone as I previously thought. Wow.

This morning, I did more work than I remember doing in quite a long time. My productivity easily doubled. This doesn’t mean that I do nothing usually, just that I stepped out of a Toyota Corolla and was behind the wheel of a Bugatti Veyron.

No emails to answer, no tweets from @BBCWorld or @rickygervais to scroll through, no IMs to catch up on. I was flying through tasks. I felt like a kung-fu master that ended up surrounded by goons and I was dealer of utter and complete destruction as they rushed toward me one by one.

We must be mindful of our distractions to achieve the Zen like state of attentiveness.

I learnt more about my distractions, what are yours?

Yes, I went home for my phone at lunchtime.