What I learnt today #4

Thursday 11 October 2012

Today I attended a panel discussion titled “Tackling the Issues: Linking Economic Growth to Social Development”

I was aware of the event, and had a fleeting desire to attend. The gruesome traffic is always a deterrent, regardless of the reason for transit. I can think of no better way to simultaneously kill the planet while achieving absolutely nothing than sitting in traffic.  I know what you’re thinking “Oh, poor car owner sitting in air-conditioned comfort operating a vehicle with an automatic transmission. Hold on while I find my violin....”

Traffic is one of those universally disliked things, like cleaning the shower drain or violent bouts of vomiting. My desire to listen to such a relevant topic given the current state of our socio-economic landscape slightly outweighed the absolutely inane act of moving my right foot laterally between the brake and gas pedal for an hour and a half straight. Plus, whoever makes the vegetable samosas for post panel refreshments should be given the Chaconia Gold medal for three sided pastry mastery. Then I had a friend who asked if I was going, and even though there was no obligation whatsoever, I somehow felt as though this simple question was a request. It was almost a yes or no to them personally and not for the symposium or the samosas.

My ultimate answer was yes. I will come to the symposium.

So there I sit in traffic. My usual strategy for making this trip bearable is to choose a lane from which I will not have to deviate to make my exit or final turn. I prefer not to have to move my hands or arms in traffic. Changing lanes in traffic to get to a destination faster reminds me of the opening scene of the movie “Office Space”. While in my selected lane, I spot a friend in traffic in an adjacent lane although he was driving someone else’s vehicle. Windows descend to exchange greetings. The cool and controlled climate is quickly replaced a rush of hot air infused with noxious fumes and a hint of rotting garbage from the adjacent landfill. I would not have done this if he was not a good friend. The only thing that makes me more uncomfortable about mindless small talk, is having to do so while trying to synchronise speeds with another car travelling at 3.2 km/hr and not hitting the car in front of you and looking like a complete jackass. Yet, this is exactly what I did. In the 19 seconds we spent talking, we made very efficient use of our words as we are both very practical men. I agreed to help him to go to Chaguanas after the symposium to pick up his vehicle that was being serviced. Knowing the agenda for the panel discussion later, I knew that I would have to skip the refreshments after. So despite missing out on arguably the real value of these things: speaking to people about the panel discussion/networking while stuffing your face as quickly as possible with free hors d’oeuvres as though you were going after a new Guinness record......

My ultimate answer was yes. I will help you pick up your car later.

Then my phone rings, and I was forced to break two rules. One was moving my arms in traffic. The other was speaking on my phone while operating a vehicle. One is a personal rule, the other one is law enacted by parliament, punishable by a $1500 fine or three months imprisonment. It’s my mother so I answer the phone. She wants me to visit so I can transfer contacts from her old phone, which is quite possibly the first Nokia ever produced, to her new phone. So now not only do I have to forgo intellectually stimulating conversation and to-die-for vegetable samosas, fish balls and mini cheese cakes, but I stop off to transfer a billion contacts from a phone whose exact date or manufacture can only be verified via carbon dating then go to Chaguanas with a friend to pickup his vehicle from a mechanic.

My ultimate answer was yes. I will transfer contacts from a phone that was likely chiselled from sedimentary rock for you Mom.

My continuous answers of yes, as well as the lively panel discussion, have taught me the following:

• His Excellency, Timothy Hamel-Smith is an extremely intelligent, eloquent and short man. I can say I share at least one thing in common with this great man. I too am short.

• Trinidad and Tobago has no shortage of bright, motivated people with many great ideas to elevate the country to a higher level. How we transfer this to the National Character of our population and our leadership is a conundrum however.

• I have a profound difficulty in saying no to people. There are many times I have overcommitted myself, and due to the unbending laws of time and space, (at speeds below that of light of course) I am forced to explain my failure to make good on my pledge. In some circles, I have been given the dubious title of ‘set-up man’ for this very reason. I realise that I need to learn to graciously and politely say “Sorry, but I can’t”. This is because I have come to the realisation that it is better to under commit and over deliver than say ‘Yeah, sure!’ to everything and scramble to make excuses for something that should not have been promised in the first place.

• I feel that somehow, it’s better to take on more than you can chew and try your very best to chew it anyway. This sometimes stretches you to become better, and other times, erodes your credibility due to unfulfilled promises. It is a fine line to tread, and one that I walk in a meandering manner.

Do you share my propensity for saying ‘yes’ almost as a reflex?

Have you frequently overcommitted yourself?

What do you think is the right balance of pushing yourself and over committing?

In the end, I was able to make good on two of the three commitments I made. This 66.7% completion rate pushed me to complete a blog in the wee hours of the morning, despite my early commitments at the office tomorrow.