Wolowitz and the Russian rocket

I've recently become a fan of a TV series named "The Big Bang Theory".


There's a character named Howard Wolowitz who is a Robotics Engineer and has always dreamed of going to space to work on the International Space Station.
Each project, published paper and research assignment he completed in the years following his graduation inched him closer to him realizing his dream.

One day he received the call he'd been waiting on for his entire life; NASA was on the line.
He was over the moon (if this isn't the perfect use of the pun then I give up), and it would seem as though his dream had finally come true.

But in his first day of training he discovered he may be in for more than he had imagined:

Progressively the training became more demanding and it took a toll on Howard:

In a dramatic turn of events, the launch was cancelled due to technical difficulties and Howard's reaction was one of devastation, at least on the surface:

Eventually however, the launch did take place and our engineer did make it to outer space. Despite all his trials and hardship during training, Howard persevered and strapped himself into the set atop a rickety Russian rocket and was in for the ride of his life:

In many ways, I found Howard's journey toward his dream a reflection of one I've had for years: Owning a motorcycle.

In the early stages, it was all I could think of spending hours on reading about types of motorcycles, engine configurations, the physics of two wheeled automobiling and all the protective gear that was necessary. Obsessed would not be a particularly excessive description during this stage of my pursuit.

I finally did get a motorcycle, and then another. 

In many ways, the dream phase did reach a harsh and abrupt end when I got on two wheels.

I realized that every car on our roads is utterly and completely ignorant of motorcycle riders and have no concept that a human's life is on the line when recklessly maneuvering their vehicle. I realized that falling down on a motorcycle is a painful and expensive mistake to make. I realized that there is a clear and present risk I am taking every time I put on my gear and take a ride.

For quite a while, the close calls I had on the roads with cretins behind the wheel of their engine and cage contraptions had me beaten much like Howard. I put up my boots for a while. After looking at episode 23 of season 5 of The Big Bang Theory, I immediately geared up and went for a ride.

If Howard can put aside the risks and pain to fulfill his dream, then so can I. 

Our dreams are often fraught with peril and uncertainty. We must understand that the reason we reach for our dreams is that it is slightly beyond the comfortable reclined position in which we find ourselves. 

Every time I think of giving up, I will remember the lesson I learnt from Wolowitz and the Russian rocket.

What I learnt recently #19

Friday 09 November 2012

This past week I attended a 2-day technical seminar, in which I gave a short presentation. Let's rewind about two weeks. I was invited to give a presentation on a case study from my personal work experience in the application of a particular engineering study on a power system. Imagine me saying this while scrunching my nose to shift my glasses a little higher up my face.

My natural response was to decline, given that I don't consider myself an anywhere near expert on the topic by any stretch of the imagination and more importantly I would have to present this to a room full of engineers with much more knowledge and experience than myself. I then remembered a lesson I had learnt sometime ago, and one which I did a blog about: The balance between pushing yourself to do more and saying 'no'. 

I decided to accept the invitation and force myself to learn something. Even if I went down in flames, I would have risen from the ashes re-born like a Phoenix. For a couple weeks, this presentation was bearing heavily down upon me even though I only had about an hour a day to dedicate to its preparation. In giving preparing for, and giving the presentation, I have discovered the  following: 

1. One of the biggest factors in uncertainty that produces fear is the thought of being judged. 
2. Even though I have huge dissatisfaction with my job, I found myself enthusiastically energetic about the field of study I have pursued. This was somewhat unexpected, since I only interact with my field in ways presented to me through my job. But the study of engineering transcends the doldrums of repetitive work, and the seminar has reminded me how much I have yet to learn.
3. Most of the worst case scenarios we play over and over in our mind usually never come to fruition. The action of considering about the worst than can happen only becomes valuable when we realise that even if it does come to pass, the resulting impact on our lives is relatively small.
4. The seminar has re-calibrated how I consider my work and my job. What I got from it was far more significant than I may have contributed. 

What I learnt today #18

Friday 02 November

Today is All Souls' Day, where tradition calls for visits to the burial sites of loved ones to tidy up and light candles. 
I visited the cemetery today and was among scores of people who were lighting candles and cleaning up graves. Many graves were overgrown with vines and other flora and some showed signs of seldom being visited. I imagine that many present today were looking back on the times when the people that have passed were with them. 

The smell of candles burning was wafting in the air. Candle smoke invokes very fond memories from my childhood. The only time we lit candles was when there was an extended power outage, which brought on a sense of excitement for a young lad. Navigating the house with a flashlight and assembling candles was something I took very seriously when we were faced with these blackouts. But the part that I enjoyed the most was everybody gathered in one spot, usually the dining room table, and there was nothing to occupy us but each other. No TV, no radio or computer. We would gather and talk about things that we would not have had we not been forced to group. Sometimes, there was no need to talk, but there was a need to be together. 

I found it quite poetic that this nostalgia brought on by candle smoke was in a place that carries us back to another time. I found myself thinking that I should spend more time with those that are close to me. We make excuses about life, and show no hesitation in listing the many things get in the way. I'd like to spend more time with those I love. 

What distractions have you allowed to put distance between you and your loved ones?

Sometimes we need to actively impose a blackout on all the things that prevent us from coming together. Just like power outages, those blessings in disguise, brought my family a little closer from time to time. 

What I learnt this week #17

Thursday 01 November 2012

I always knew a blog a day was an ambitious target.
I kept it up for longer than I expected, and missing one day is a slippery slope.

It's like any habit. Keep it up and you have momentum. Once it falters, it's a tough task to get it started back as the lull lingers. Since I missed so many days, I thought it worthwhile to do a quick synopsis of my days since the last entry.

Last weekend (43rd weekend of 2012)

Fresh off the heels of the previous weekend's lesson of planning it beforehand, I had one all set. It was a completely filled weekend. I got up before 8:30am on each day. I know this doesn't seem early for most of you, but I really enjoy a late sleep on weekends. Having such a busy weekend, one where everything I had planned was accomplished, has taught me the following:

• I waste a fair amount of time on weekends. It could be doing something fairly simple. I'd get up and start to read news, both local and international. Then I'd read something that I want to read more on and I do a search. My search results in 49 tabs being opened in a two minute span. Let's not mention if one of the tab includes a youtube video. That has the potential of  extending the research period by hours. I would start off looking at a video of a news clip, and somehow end up watching a series of videos where people film their dogs barking in ways that make them sound as though they are talking. 
• Getting up early is a good idea on weekends. I'll try to rise even earlier this weekend and see how that goes.

Monday 29 October 2012

Monday mornings are particularly challenging for me. This is partly due to the fact that for a split second after I wake up on a Monday morning, I think it's Sunday. Words cannot describe the emotional roller coaster I go through in the one second after I wake up. 

I can try though: "Ahhhhh....... ohhh dammit to hell". Kind of like that, I guess. 

But in the dynamic balance of yin and yang, I always enjoy waking up on a Sunday thinking it's Monday. Imagine walking into the office and your boss says "Hey buddy, go home and relax. I got this." It's like that, while in bed. Glorious. And the opposite of that is what happened to me on Monday.  

On Monday I did not have a good day. Without going into detail, I seriously contemplated giving up everything and pursing my dream of becoming a professional bush dweller. I can't help but think the attitude that I adopt on Monday mornings directs my mood for the remainder of the day. 

Since Mondays are such a challenge, I will embrace the day from the time I wake. This is my task for Monday 05 November 2012.

Wednesday 31 October 2012

On Wednesdays I have a weekly project status meeting in south. I dislike these meetings very much. In these meetings I sit and try to figure out how my years of schooling and continuing education has led me to this table staring at last week's minutes. It's not that I don't appreciate the need for these meetings. I completely understand the need for various professionals involved in a multi-million dollar project to discuss the progress and resolve problems that arise. What I don't understand is why it needs to suck the very life force that sustains me out though my skin. I swear I come out of those meetings a little lighter. I realised that because I loathe these meetings so much, I avoid anything that has the slightest connection to them......until one hour before the meeting. This leaves me somewhat unprepared for the torturous few hours ahead. It's a negative feedback loop and I'm only adding to my misery. 

Since these meetings make me want to get up and just leave the room, I will dedicate a few hours a couple days before the meeting so at least I am fully prepared. Even though this will not make them any more enjoyable in any way, shape or form there's no need to add to it by being unprepared. This is my task for Tuesday 06 November 2012.

Thursday 01 November 2012

Today I had the task of catching up with my blogs, which I didn't do such a great job doing. Who noticed Tuesday is missing? Lesson learnt today: It's easier to keep up and maintain an already existing habit, than trying to re-start something after a hibernation period. 

Task for tomorrow: Continue blog. 

What I learnt today #16

Friday 16 October 2012

Today I had an itchy scalp. 

Consider the following: 

• As the time goes by from the time of my shampoo, the itchiness of my scalp increases. 
• My hair is extremely poofy/frizzy immediately following my shampoo. So as the time goes by from the time of my shampoo, my hair gets less poofy and takes on a more human like demeanour.  

See below graph for clarity. 

Graph illustrating hair/scalp properties with time as measured from Shampoo

Considering my particular genealogy, my family has been blessed (cursed depending on how you look at it) with hair of a voluminous nature. I refer to it as poofiness since I'm not in the hair care arena. 

There lies a sweet spot where my hair and scalp are sufficiently clean so as not to have any particular odour or petrochemical properties, while existing in an orderly manner. This is usually two days or so after a shampoo (give or take 12 hours)

Today happens to be about 4 days since my last shampoo, putting me to well to the right of the ideal spot where the blue and red line intersect. I was descending toward the slick hair appearance, and simultaneously ascending to the greasy texture. It was as though after my shower I dried my hair with the base of a brown paper bag that once contained a dozen doubles. 

I find myself playing a delicate balancing act whereby the sweet spot has a fluctuating duration depending on factors ranging from atmospheric conditions to the nature my activity on the day. Sometimes this intersection point last two days, sometimes it is gone in a flash. I've become fairly good at gauging this, so why was I looking like an italian mobster today?

Today being Friday, my propensity is to participate in after work social activity. Even though neither hair condition is desired, if I had to choose I would prefer to have a somewhat orderly look to my filamentous biomaterial, even if slightly naturally lubricated, than have it appear as though a species of bird collected strands of black wire and constructed a nest in which to roost on top of my head. 

Even though I don't consider myself a vain person by any stretch of the imagination, I discovered that I did allow what I consider to be visually favourable to over ride my comfort.

In what ways do you sacrifice comfort for appearance?

I somehow think that given that I have realised that I placed vanity over comfort, something that I would not naturally place in that order, I will be shampooing more often. 

Expect to see me with much more poofy hair in the weeks to come. 

What I learnt today #15

Thursday 25 October 2012

This morning on my way to work, I took my regular route. 
I know best practice dictates you're supposed to vary your routes to avoid someone recognizing a pattern, but I think I blend in quite well with the other 50,000 cars going in the same general direction every morning. 

My route takes me along the Audrey Jeffers Highway, which has a portion referred to as the foreshore which puts you about 10 meters away from the coastline of the Gulf of Paria. 
This morning I saw a man wake-boarding in the Gulf. Now, for those of you that don't know this stretch of coastline, no one ever ventures into these waters mainly due to its toxicity levels. I always half expect to see a three-legged fish come up from the water and drag itself across the road. Other than the fact that this guy is probably going to become the latest addition to the x-men after his dip in that water, I was absolutely amazed what this guy had planned for his Thursday. I sometimes forget that not everyone lives in the rat maze. After all, practically everyone I know is in it.

Yes, in some ways I did envy this character. Now I know what you're thinking, "Ian you don't know how hard this guy probably worked so he could afford such leisure". You're right, I don't. But it's a sick construct that we have come to believe in that decades of toil are required, demanded even, from the world for us to deserve something great. I'm not talking about the fast track, or get rich dreams or anything of that nature. I'm talking about living the way we want, in the present. Ask yourself the "5 whys" to peel back the layers of why you're not living the life you may want. Look past the "I don't have enough money" excuse 90% of people would list as one of their first limitations. I would argue that the majority of things that we would list as constraints and limitations are self imposed. Yes you need to have a certain risk appetite to be daring enough to break the mold and not walk the prescribed path. But there is much more at risk if you live in a way that does not fulfill you. 

When you really get to the bottom of it, there is a reason we don't run after what we say we want. It's fear. And it's that fear that keeps people, myself included, from wake boarding on a Thursday morning. That and I'd prefer not to have my skin melted off and flesh eating bacteria reducing me to bones. Seriously that water is gross. 

What I learnt this morning #14

Thursday 25 October

Lesson learnt yesterday:

• Opening a blog at 11:24pm, and then saying "I'm just going to rest my eyes for a few minutes" results in a that said blog not manifesting itself. 

• When the body needs sleep, give it. It is the one gift we can present to ourselves that brings supremely  glorious satisfaction that is easy to do and costs nothing. 

• Falling asleep in a place other than your bed, in a position that isn't meant for the human body other than those with 5th degree black belts in yoga, is still a decent sleep. 

• Take pleasure in your sleep in the same way you savour a good meal. It really is one of those small things in life that can bring joy when done right, and causes absolute devastation when absent or lacking quality. 

So, after waking up this morning having drooled 1.32 liters of saliva all over myself, I realise that my days have suddenly gotten very filled. And surprisingly, I'm not really bothered by it. Granted, I have no children. I've always had massive respect for those that get lots done and have little replicas of themselves hopped up on sugar running between their legs. So to all of you that reproduced and still manage to, day-by-day, reach closer to the goals you have set for yourself and family - Gold star for you. 

I will think of you when I feel as though I don't have the energy.