Belch Blasphemy and Sneeze Sanctity

I belch. I belch often. I belch often and loudly.

There is something extremely satisfying about releasing gastrointestinal gases through the esophagus. The vibration. The release of pressure. The way you can articulate your vocal chords to effect various tones.

It is a natural action for anyone who has a healthy digestive system.

Yet, I am met with absolute horror when I belch within earshot of anyone. Heaven forbid I belch in public, you may as well elevate to DEFCON 5 and send in the troops.

Let us examine how vast the chasm is between the treatment one is exposed to when belching, as opposed to another natural bodily action. Sneezing.

When people sneeze, regardless of location, not only is it totally acceptable, people actually rain BLESSINGS upon you. Do you what is involved in a sneeze? Saliva, mucus and other particulate matter is expelled from your mouth and nasal cavity at 40mph, travelling up to 20 feet away in a death cloud of bacteria and virus laden fluid.

Picture the following scenario. You're at a packed food court enjoying a meal. Somewhere in the distance, someone sneezes. No one bats an eyelid or pays attention to the fact they could be at ground zero for the zombie apocalypse. Moments later, a loud belch is heard. The entire food court stops, turns at the offending person and frowningly stares with disapproval.

Now, I'm not saying that a sneeze is something to be ashamed of or snuffed out. I'm simply pointing out the huge divide between how spraying people with spit and releasing vapour is considered.

So next time someone belches, consider the alternative. They could have sneezed.

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