What I learnt recently #19

Friday 09 November 2012

This past week I attended a 2-day technical seminar, in which I gave a short presentation. Let's rewind about two weeks. I was invited to give a presentation on a case study from my personal work experience in the application of a particular engineering study on a power system. Imagine me saying this while scrunching my nose to shift my glasses a little higher up my face.

My natural response was to decline, given that I don't consider myself an anywhere near expert on the topic by any stretch of the imagination and more importantly I would have to present this to a room full of engineers with much more knowledge and experience than myself. I then remembered a lesson I had learnt sometime ago, and one which I did a blog about: The balance between pushing yourself to do more and saying 'no'. 

I decided to accept the invitation and force myself to learn something. Even if I went down in flames, I would have risen from the ashes re-born like a Phoenix. For a couple weeks, this presentation was bearing heavily down upon me even though I only had about an hour a day to dedicate to its preparation. In giving preparing for, and giving the presentation, I have discovered the  following: 

1. One of the biggest factors in uncertainty that produces fear is the thought of being judged. 
2. Even though I have huge dissatisfaction with my job, I found myself enthusiastically energetic about the field of study I have pursued. This was somewhat unexpected, since I only interact with my field in ways presented to me through my job. But the study of engineering transcends the doldrums of repetitive work, and the seminar has reminded me how much I have yet to learn.
3. Most of the worst case scenarios we play over and over in our mind usually never come to fruition. The action of considering about the worst than can happen only becomes valuable when we realise that even if it does come to pass, the resulting impact on our lives is relatively small.
4. The seminar has re-calibrated how I consider my work and my job. What I got from it was far more significant than I may have contributed. 

What I learnt today #18

Friday 02 November

Today is All Souls' Day, where tradition calls for visits to the burial sites of loved ones to tidy up and light candles. 
I visited the cemetery today and was among scores of people who were lighting candles and cleaning up graves. Many graves were overgrown with vines and other flora and some showed signs of seldom being visited. I imagine that many present today were looking back on the times when the people that have passed were with them. 

The smell of candles burning was wafting in the air. Candle smoke invokes very fond memories from my childhood. The only time we lit candles was when there was an extended power outage, which brought on a sense of excitement for a young lad. Navigating the house with a flashlight and assembling candles was something I took very seriously when we were faced with these blackouts. But the part that I enjoyed the most was everybody gathered in one spot, usually the dining room table, and there was nothing to occupy us but each other. No TV, no radio or computer. We would gather and talk about things that we would not have had we not been forced to group. Sometimes, there was no need to talk, but there was a need to be together. 

I found it quite poetic that this nostalgia brought on by candle smoke was in a place that carries us back to another time. I found myself thinking that I should spend more time with those that are close to me. We make excuses about life, and show no hesitation in listing the many things get in the way. I'd like to spend more time with those I love. 

What distractions have you allowed to put distance between you and your loved ones?

Sometimes we need to actively impose a blackout on all the things that prevent us from coming together. Just like power outages, those blessings in disguise, brought my family a little closer from time to time. 

What I learnt this week #17

Thursday 01 November 2012

I always knew a blog a day was an ambitious target.
I kept it up for longer than I expected, and missing one day is a slippery slope.

It's like any habit. Keep it up and you have momentum. Once it falters, it's a tough task to get it started back as the lull lingers. Since I missed so many days, I thought it worthwhile to do a quick synopsis of my days since the last entry.

Last weekend (43rd weekend of 2012)

Fresh off the heels of the previous weekend's lesson of planning it beforehand, I had one all set. It was a completely filled weekend. I got up before 8:30am on each day. I know this doesn't seem early for most of you, but I really enjoy a late sleep on weekends. Having such a busy weekend, one where everything I had planned was accomplished, has taught me the following:

• I waste a fair amount of time on weekends. It could be doing something fairly simple. I'd get up and start to read news, both local and international. Then I'd read something that I want to read more on and I do a search. My search results in 49 tabs being opened in a two minute span. Let's not mention if one of the tab includes a youtube video. That has the potential of  extending the research period by hours. I would start off looking at a video of a news clip, and somehow end up watching a series of videos where people film their dogs barking in ways that make them sound as though they are talking. 
• Getting up early is a good idea on weekends. I'll try to rise even earlier this weekend and see how that goes.

Monday 29 October 2012

Monday mornings are particularly challenging for me. This is partly due to the fact that for a split second after I wake up on a Monday morning, I think it's Sunday. Words cannot describe the emotional roller coaster I go through in the one second after I wake up. 

I can try though: "Ahhhhh....... ohhh dammit to hell". Kind of like that, I guess. 

But in the dynamic balance of yin and yang, I always enjoy waking up on a Sunday thinking it's Monday. Imagine walking into the office and your boss says "Hey buddy, go home and relax. I got this." It's like that, while in bed. Glorious. And the opposite of that is what happened to me on Monday.  

On Monday I did not have a good day. Without going into detail, I seriously contemplated giving up everything and pursing my dream of becoming a professional bush dweller. I can't help but think the attitude that I adopt on Monday mornings directs my mood for the remainder of the day. 

Since Mondays are such a challenge, I will embrace the day from the time I wake. This is my task for Monday 05 November 2012.

Wednesday 31 October 2012

On Wednesdays I have a weekly project status meeting in south. I dislike these meetings very much. In these meetings I sit and try to figure out how my years of schooling and continuing education has led me to this table staring at last week's minutes. It's not that I don't appreciate the need for these meetings. I completely understand the need for various professionals involved in a multi-million dollar project to discuss the progress and resolve problems that arise. What I don't understand is why it needs to suck the very life force that sustains me out though my skin. I swear I come out of those meetings a little lighter. I realised that because I loathe these meetings so much, I avoid anything that has the slightest connection to them......until one hour before the meeting. This leaves me somewhat unprepared for the torturous few hours ahead. It's a negative feedback loop and I'm only adding to my misery. 

Since these meetings make me want to get up and just leave the room, I will dedicate a few hours a couple days before the meeting so at least I am fully prepared. Even though this will not make them any more enjoyable in any way, shape or form there's no need to add to it by being unprepared. This is my task for Tuesday 06 November 2012.

Thursday 01 November 2012

Today I had the task of catching up with my blogs, which I didn't do such a great job doing. Who noticed Tuesday is missing? Lesson learnt today: It's easier to keep up and maintain an already existing habit, than trying to re-start something after a hibernation period. 

Task for tomorrow: Continue blog.